Remission is Not the DestinationNov 22, 2022
Healing is... ongoing
It felt like my heart dropped into my stomach. The voicemail message that was left instructed me to call the breast clinic back ASAP. They said that an ultrasound was needed for further evaluation after my recent annual mammogram. This brought back all of the original cancer diagnosis terror. This was my first mammogram after a year and a half of chemotherapy, radiation, lumpectomy surgery... and a lot of praying that the cancer was out of me. Why would there be anything to worry about? I thought that once I was in remission or "cancer free" I would feel "safe", remain relieved, and would not look back. However, the reality is that the concern of whether cancer will be found will be natural at every single checkup for the rest of my life.
It is a strange chapter after treatments when you are given a remission or cancer-free status from your doctor. It sometimes feels like others can thankfully get back to 'business as usual and expect you to return to "normal" or resume your life as it was before cancer (BC). However, the truth is that cancer has forever changed my outlook on life. I want to live each day now with gratitude, intention, and purpose... I cannot take things for granted anymore. And... the reality is that every pain or ache makes the mind question if the cancer is back. The fear still exists and is something to work on flipping to its positive alternative each time it arises again. So going back to before cancer... is not really an option. However, I am excited about my life chapters ahead. This next chapter is an opportunity to seek and cherish what is more meaningful.
Healing is ongoing... and for me means keeping my health, my mindset, and my habits as a priority by...
- being clear on what my values, needs, and capabilities are so that I can be intentional in what I take on or let go of for the day (or week ahead)
- focusing on what feels good for my mind and body that supports healing vs allowing things in my environment that distract from or get in the way of my healing
- meditating, journaling, and immersing myself in nature as often as I can
- asking for and receiving help and support with gratitude
Regardless of where you are at in your journey, Healing is in progress. I invite you to be gracious with yourself as you figure this out and integrate what healing looks like into your days. Your mind, body and spirit will thank you!
As for me, I continue to learn and am enjoying the new me! What feels meaningful to you; for your healing now and your healing ongoing?
LoveME Healing was born out of my own breast cancer journey. When I was diagnosed in 2020, I found myself overwhelmed and feeling alone. I created a set of resources to support the personal side of healing and now also host a private, positive community to help others navigate this ongoing journey. Want to learn more? Check out what we are about on the LoveME Healing Home Page.
Find more about my story here