When Your Strength is Seen as Weakness

Have you ever walked out of a meeting feeling accomplished, only to discover that others see you as invisible?

The Feedback That Changed Everything

I sat stunned staring back at my manager, her words still echoing in my mind,

"You need to speak up more in our meetings."

My brain scrambled to make sense of this. The last few brainstorming sessions flashed through my memory - each one where I'd left with clear action items, follow-up emails to send, and solutions to implement. I thought my thoughtful approach was obvious. Apparently, I was making a poor assumption.

"I'm deeply thinking about what we were discussing in those meetings," I finally managed to explain. "I'm focused on solving the puzzle, not just talking about it."

But what hit me like a gut punch was the thought that I was perceived as quiet and ineffective and meanwhile the "circle talkers" (as I referred to them), those that loved the sound of their own voice but brought zero actionable solutions, were seen as engaged and valuable?! What?

The Authenticity Crisis

My manager's feedback essentially felt like it was asking me to become someone I wasn't. Be louder. Be more assertive. Perform engagement instead of actually engaging.

The irony wasn't lost on me. I was being encouraged to emulate the very people I found least effective - those who could talk about the problems but never offered solutions. Sure, there was room for me to speak up more and suggest even partial ideas live to demonstrate how I was engaging in my mind with this issue.

However, this moment also sparked a deeper question - Was I supposed to abandon my authentic working style to fit someone else's definition of valuable?

The Disconnect Revealed

This experience exposed a classic scenario of misaligned expectations. My manager and I were operating from different definitions of "engagement" and "value".

She saw engagement as vocal participation and I saw it as thoughtful problem-solving.

She interpreted inefficiency as quiet focus, whereas I saw it in the constant talking.

Neither of us was wrong - we had different pictures and meanings in our minds.

The Power of Choosing Your Space

This was the learning in reflection for me... you have the agency to decide whether to adapt, grow, or walk away when your authentic self doesn't align with others' expectations.

Sometimes feedback is a gift that opens our eyes to blind spots. Other times, it's a red flag showing us we're in the wrong environment for our working style.

The people you surround yourself with - personally and professionally - shape how you feel about your worthiness, your capacity and you value. You matter enough to bring your unique skills and perspective to spaces that celebrate, not diminish, who you are.

Your Authentic Path Forward

If you're feeling stuck between who you are and who others expect you to be, you're not alone. The tension between authenticity and adaptation is real, and navigating it requires both courage and clarity.

Ready to Build Momentum Your Way?

Join our Collective of purpose-driven individuals who are committed to building momentum and alignment with their authentic selves. Together, we explore how to:

• Love Yourself Forward Everyday (what we call LYFE)
• Make intentional choices and actions towards what we aspire to
• Celebrate each step in our unique journey

Because the world needs your authentic contribution, not your perfect performance.

Don't spend another day questioning your worth in spaces that don't see your value. There's still time to step into where you belong.